Bianca kicked by Heart_*

I'm the Pyscho?

2010-05-10T04:07:00.000-07:00

Once been an old woman.. hahahahahahaha.. once made the wrong choice.. hahahahahahaha.. Lets see whether any idiots will believe in wat the fool says....... DAMN. idiotic enough to believe huh.. i *SALUTE* ya! Wonder when is the last rumor spoke.. i still can't stop laughing my ass off when i think back all the rumors.. Why are there so many immature brains out in the society.......... oh lord.. pls send them back home before they get to see the real genuine beautiful world. i could see them as idiots but deep down.. i actually pity them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. who would believe me?

Kites are still flying around the air.. all over the sky.. ppl who amaze it are just dull.. the so-called-life i'm having is just all acts and everything are just like food. mostly everything can be describe as FOOD??

Whacking

2010-02-21T20:02:00.000-08:00

Feel like killing those ppl.............. those kind of ppl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wat the hell u call me ur fren for? why not call me a plastic bag? once u'r done using me then can just throw me aside.. when u need me again.. u'll pick me up.. wat the fuck.. how old r u? n who u think u are?????? u need some kind of 'thing' to awake u.. or maybe u don't need it coz u're born n stick with it.. ur bloody attitude.. your words.. BULLSHIT!!! the ppl who trust u gonna be in deep shit.. watever u'r doing.. you get the payback.. some life may be punish.. some life may be ended just like that.. whoever stand on ur side.... is a fool like me was..

ma babe............... how deep is ur love for him? how much thing have u done for him? has he ever see u on the bright side? why are u the one? never let anyone hurt u n let go of the things that doesn't belong to u.. that's the best u can do.. don't grab the past.. only think bout it.. don't hold on to it only wonder it.. don't blame ONLYurself for all these.. blame him too.. some things are meant to be but some aren't.. the bruise that u have.. i'll heal it for u..

Elvis has enter the building

2010-02-08T01:08:00.000-08:00

Me no understand why u orang always create stories ar.. me no stand that why u so very the lack the attention thing ar.. What the heck have i done to you ar ah soh................... u arhh..... one day.... suddenly get one slap don't ask why arrr...... the reason is very the simple only la.. coz the person hate u n can't stand ur bitchy-ness la.. auntie.. why ar you love to simply tell n why ar ur lip like sausage 1?? so damn big.. bigger than the toilet seat la.. stupid you.. damn you.. i'm just too bored so bla bla bla la.. Eh auntie.. wan spoil my reputasi janganlah cakap dalam group.. cakaplah during perhimpunan.. i can prepare the microphone for u ok ar? haha.. boring la......... bored.... bored................................................. BORING........................ chicken rice shop close for u chicken lips.. buttock fingers n boobies hands.. rawR.. copy cat lah you............ say me copy cat.. u copy dog.. ehhh.. you copy cat better.. i hate cat so i won't copy cat.. me rather copy dog.. (: so boring. wat to do har bitch.. fail to write like an aunty.. gggrrrrrrrrr.... why u copy my things n say u invent yourself? i don't understand u la.. why u love to say urself perfect? u tall so wat... kena curse ar u.. so tall will have no bf.. nowdays boys banyak pendek lo.. u so fair for wat? now everyone look like they from bollywood la.. you so fair for wat.. ur teeth so the yeeerr.. n ur eye very the yyyyooorrr.. plus ur lip ar.. super the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyy....
i'm just tooo bored.. me also not pretty.. i admit.. very the plum.. n very the bad attitude.. so wat.. that's me la.. dun like it then don't talk to me.. rawR.. wonder how human mean taste like.. =.= i'm not gonna cut off my meat n eat myself.. stupidity larh..ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeaHHHHH.. my mood like a stink bomb.. wonder when will u stop everything.. watever you're doing.. others thinks is right.. to me.. u'r just doing something n making a fool out of urself.. stupid

Damn

2010-01-10T03:18:00.000-08:00

DAMN SUCK LA
DAMN SAD LA
DAMN TIRED LA
DAMN ANNOYED LA
DAMN FRUSTRATED LA
DAMN CONFUSED LA
DAMN BUSY LA
DAMN HYPER LA
DAMN SLEEPY LA
DAMN ANGRY LA
DAMN HEAVY LA
DAMN BLACK LA
DAMN IRRITATED LA
DAMN CHUBBY LA
DAMN BABY LA
DAMN THESE LA
DAMN THOSE LA

DAMN YOU LA

Haha. too bored d wat to do......... BUT damn you for making all these.. SCREWED every darn things!!! Already imperfect n some more make it WORSE.
Make some air. Make some space. Make some road. Make some way. Make some idea. Make some plan. Make something la!!!!!!!!!!

E.S.L

2009-12-16T05:55:00.000-08:00

Every single drop of blood you give me is everything you remind me..
Something that has been done is done..
Life is just like puppet show..
control by the one who have the power..
powerless yet still staying alive..
WHY?
I believe that those type live with their hearts telling that life is wonderful..
The only pain that will get is when u hurt urself..
That the real pain..
Nobody can touch each others heart..
Some are special some are wonderful some are creepy some even may not even know that they got a heart..
Ppl who are living forgot why are they standing here for..
SOme don't even give a damn..
True love will exist if the word divorce does not exist..
awsomeLY hell words..
Pure love is a love that will only show nothing, n nothing can ever replace it..
Thousands sand pour onto the ground n burier starts..
Just ended on a blink of an eye..
Wanna pick the right fight then pick the fight that doesn't involve any weapon..
It would be the hit..
Thinking of suicide many times but just couldn't move my finger to that point so there will be a reason..
My philosophy~ The taste of everything come from a STEP of life..

End of this

2009-10-31T03:48:00.000-07:00

So much bad thijngs happen end of the month.. wonder wat's going on.. gaHHH..... btw i still hate u.. grr.. now thinking wat are friends for.. seriously.. wat are friends for?? well i dunno... will wait n see n do some research... so now.. wat are lover for?? i know a little.. a lover is to love n hug.. that's all i know.. but still got other things i know but dun wanna tell out.. coz that's my way of seeing it.. can't tell anyone.. wooaHH.. lazy to do paragraph.. so just crumble everything.. weeee~~ wonder why a person have to lie........ i guess so is because that they can't accept for wat they are.. n they feel happy living in a lie.. bla bla bla.. i really hope that something will happen n something will not happen.. but things that i don't wan it to happen already happen n things that i wan it to happen.. didn't really happen.. everything up side down.. blurPP........wonder when will all the chaos stop n end.. living in a fairy tale is wat i've been dream for.. full of happy ending n dreams that may come true..
People do chage in their own way.. people don't change in ur way.. understand that.. for how u treat me u should know.. for how u only hear things from others mouth u should how wat u'r doing.. believe in wat u see n not wat u hear... why r u such a fool?? sorry for saying that.. but seriously.. u are.. when somebody throw u aside n after a long time.. without a reason explaning why the person did that then come back to u.. don't u think that the person is just using u? why r u such a fool.. u even say that u won't join much with the person.. but u'r still.. why not try to avoid the person so that u can avoid from being dump again.. once a fool.. not always a fool.. but dunno why u'r still a fool..
Being in a situation that others can't believe n still dragging urself into it even thought ppl ask u not to be in it.. wat do u think u'r doing.. well.. it's ur business.. so i won't ask u do watever i ask u to.. i'm just gonna tell u.. not necessary u have to do wat i say.. but i just wan u to listen.. when u come crying n looking for ur friend.. don't blame ur fren for not being with u.. ask urself that did u be with ur fren when ur fren need u..

BOY is a knife.
Girl is a sword.
Friends are painkillers..
Family is everything wonderful.

Bored..

2009-10-01T02:46:00.000-07:00

Bad image.. bad name.. bad defence..

FINALLY SEPTEMBER OVER!!!! bad luck month!!!! Spetember!! i still love u.. seriously.. i still love you..

Minding my own business.. toilet getting more business during the midnight.. cut off some frens.. no more strength on them.. i know i'm wrong too but do u know that u'r wrong too.. is like worst than mine.. or maybe i'm more worst wrong.. so now i'm more wrong than u guys.. ahh.. i don't care anything now.. blueeeeee.. blaaaaaaa... bleeeeeuuuuu.. study a little but can't go in my mind so i stop study n start doing some exercise instead.. not a lot exercises also.. only a very tiny little amount.. whoever ask me study already not/ go study more or watever thing bout studying.. i feel like making some hole in ur row of teeth..

Wonder when will u stop talking bad bout ppl to make that person hate the ppl that u hate.. wan the person hate until kill that person for u huh?? i suggest u play with ur baby toy.. too childish.. will gift u a milk bottle for ur birthday.. love can actually do nothing.. no such thing as love for a person like you.. when u look someone in the eye then u fall in love with that person d.. after that when u look another person in the eye then u change ur love.. the same thing keep on repeating.. guess so it become ur hobby d.. try to get more moral lesson than getting attention from other ppl.. let me teach u a way to get attention.. <>
i will ensure u that u will get millions eye on u..

Theng Huay.. lolS

2009-09-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

Why la ask me update my blog..

Should know pmr coming in 6 days wat..
Busy studying~~~~~
Wonder who will believe me.. >.<

Hmmm.. got nothing to write bout.. so just post some picture of my dog food.. n wat i done to it.. really too boring until can play with dog food.. Hmm.. lets see how I play with it..

STEP 1980

So cute right.. 'Pedi' wat brand.. forgot how to spell..
Before serving the dog food to ur dog..

STEP 1969

Pour some out from the dog container.. choose the shape that u wanna play with..

STEP 2000

Make it into any shape u wan..

>Smiley face<

STEP 2000

>Sad face<

Can be deco into any picture or shape or face or anything.. ur play ur control..

Remember to feed ur dog after playing.. or else ur dog will end up like my baby..!!

Salad colours

2009-08-29T00:43:00.000-07:00

Chicken chop salad
Sour milk salad
Hamburger salad
Salted fish salad
Mushroom algae salad
Human brain salad
Dog's paws salad
Terrible salad

Life's just like salad.. a little bit of this n that n those then will make up a life.. life is a departure n a pick up for us.. learn a bit from this n that.. nothing can be loose.. only feeling n trust.. nothing in this world can live without it.. is like a body without a soul.. or izzit a soul without a path.. nothing is more wonderful than leading own life..

Why couldn't i trust anyone anomore.. i'm truly really sorry.. but there's really no more trust in me for anyone of u.. n there's no more love for anyone.. my trust n love is only to the ones who gave me a life.. but not to u.. so sorry.. n not to u too.. i'm even more sorry.. it's really hard to choose someone to trust.. by not hurting myself.. i dare not to put in my trust n all my feelings in it.. there's no more n there's no such meaning for that word in my world.. sucked up n never got it own ways..

Mind caling me to stop doing it.. but if i stop doing it, it will just be hurting that person n hurting myself.. not to be thinking of u all the time.. but now i will only think of that.. just pretend that i'm in a dance floor n move as how to rhythm flows.. There's nothing to apoint out anymore.. only continue seeing n following like a pet.. follow the trails.. n leave no more signs.. but do not live under ur own shadows.. it's the dummers thing that a person will do.. it will be just like a person in a koma.. a treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..

Pay Off

2009-07-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

Lazy lazy lazy!!!!!!! SO HAPPY TODAY WHEN I KNOW SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUNNO WHY AM I SO HAPPY!!!!!!! BUT AFTER THINKING OF SOMETHING I FEEL SAD AGAIN!!!!! BUT THINKING BACK OF THE HAPPY THING I FEEL SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!! THEN AFTER I SAW SOMEONE MAKE ME RECALL BACK SOMETHING!!!!! EVERY TIME ALSO LIKE THAT!!!!! BUT WHEN I THINK BACK OF THE HAPPY THING AGAIN I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M SO HIGH!!!

kk.. done going crazy.. real stuff.. nothing much coming up lately.. did some up side down things that i shouldn't really do.. but just do it so.. well having some very nice topic to write but can't be share so not gonna write.. lolz.. Mcd sayings:' I'm Lovin' IT!'

always say that word.. but before saying that word.. please think properly who to say to.. dun just say it coz the other person said it to u.. find the 'FEEL' before u say it please~~ i beg u.. but not gonna kneel down to beg u.. coz i'm evil.. laugh out loud all u wan.. say watever u wan.. but please.. don't go bla-ing me.. bomb-ing me around.. i can turn around n chop u into thousand pieces one day.. that day will come soon that u even though.. bwahahaha!!!

OUTSTANDING!!! i love to eat Mcd coz say too much I love YOU!!.. gaHHHH............ swt99.. advise.. brainwash.. talk.. discuss.. meeting.. nag.. all these.. are so marvellous.. something that u thing u should do please thing whether u deserve to do or not before doing it.. don't make me kill u.. i can seriously kill 10ppls in one day.. make u feel the blues.. make u be in the red!!!!!

ANGER!!! PAIN!! FURIOUS!!! CURIOUS!!! SADNESS!!! HAPPINESS!!! wat more.. hmmmm.. dunno not feeling any other than that.. say woohoo~~!!! coz nothing will ever be more woohoo~~!! than saying woohoo~~!!! for nothing.. okays.. officially i'm crazy..

it's so adorable..

Deep down??

2009-07-17T03:46:00.001-07:00

Deep right inside.. on that day.. if we were still together.. somes will just come by.. time pass by in a blink of an eye.. u can't see how fast it go.. maybe nothing is meant to be but everything is here to do.. some says.. i'm blind coz u'r blocking my view.. but that's not.. u'r blind coz u got no feeling.. some feeling are just to be right inside ur heart.. some feeling can be see through outside.. but is hard.. just like judging a book by its cover.. never do that unless u got supernatural power.. yea righT.. somethings is just like this.. somethings aren't like this.. somethings are to be to happen.. somethings are made to happen.. how i ever wish i will never hurt anyone's feeling.. n now just starting a new life.. i hope i will never hurt this person.. coz not fully my heart is with that person.. is still with another.. is so wrong.. but just try out.. couldn't get it out then just live with it.. that's wat i always do n ended up get scolding.. wait for the time pass right in front of u.. waiting patiently.. fixing n picking up every broken pieces of things that belongs inside me.. there's many to say but less to do.. there's a lot to see but no time.. all to treasure is ur love to me before~~~~~~ i'm gonna get KILL..

my little precious dog.. i'm so so sorry!! sorry for all the tortures.. sorry for everything.. even thought u can't read coz u dun even know how to read but still.. i'm sorry.. btw.. u'r so smelly.. such a bad owner.. lazy to shower for her.. *calculating how many weeks* errrmmm.. 2 or 4 or 4 weeks?? a month..?? omg!! i'm so sorry!!!!!!

Maybe will love you til the end of my life..' Old Gal says

In return

2009-07-08T22:22:00.000-07:00

I love you!!! I love you!!! I love you!!! I love you!!!

I Love You!!!

'Maybe will love you til the end of my life..' Old Gal says

Jelly

2009-07-07T02:06:00.000-07:00

OWH!!! it's a Saturday!! after my nap.. always suddenly fall asleep.. Dunno wat happen to me d.. .. neway.. when i woke up.. go wash my face.. reply my messages.. so many messages.. as if i'm gonna die d then the person wanna tell me their last words to me.. =.= then suddenly my mother shout for me.. 'BIANNNNNNNNNNNCAAA!!!' my father wasn't around so she shout as loud as she want.. lols.. then i run to her.. she's in the kitchen by the way.. she ask me to help her make jelly~~ but then i end up taking pictures of the process of making jelly..

the lower layer was yellow.. then my mum put another layer which is white.. but she destroy the yellow layer because it's not solid yet.. n there's a shape of a moon!! SEE!!! SEE!! sorry for the brightness of the picture..

yellow colour use eye yolks..

White use coconut juice..

now u can see it clearly.. MOON!!! MOON!!!

but got no star..my mum was scolding me for making it like that.. but actaully is her own masterpiece.. she's the akibat.. not me..

THEN NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

beautiful~~

Red use dragon fruit.. Dragon fruit that got red flesh..

this is how it looks like when done pouring..

WAH LAHH~~~~

ttttiiiiiiinnnnnnn~~~~~~GGGGgggg....

NEXT!!!

Green.. green kill my eye..

Green use pandan..

so shinny~~ like a bold head..

this is the akibat of putting too less pandan.. actaully there's two of these.. i dunno wat colour is has become.. my goodness.. give an award to my mum quick..

then white layer again~~

OH YEA.. the white layer was the LAST LAST LAYER!! means the top TOP layer..

nice nice?? i forgot to take the picture of being cut.. n see the inside of it through the side ways.. argh!!! benggang..

Done~~

very sweet.. n nice.. but not as sweet as my past sweet memories.. =.=

next stop!! Mango Rice!!

'Maybe will love you til the end of my life..' Old Gal says

ALE

2009-07-07T01:42:00.000-07:00

Add some taste into my life.. no point grabing the things that i wan but doesn't belong to me.. but the things that i wan that doesn't belong to me wants me.. wat to do.. just throw it aside n walk away n pretend as if nothing happen.. maybe life is just like shopping.. boo woo woooow.. i will love you so much.. did i ever think twice before starting it? yes i did!!! thought that is better to love you cause i trust u that u will protect me.. never hurt me.. be with me all the time.. breath with me.. that was the 1st though.. 2nd though.. was thinking that u will hold me tight cause u love me.. u guard me.. u carry me up whenever i fall.. when i'm with u.. then i know why i choose to be with u.. cause u'r the one.. make me feel myself.. make me know wat's all life about.. make me wonder the real true meaning of love.. BUT once u leave me.. i think again.. did i made the right decision.. i said to myself yes!! i made the right decision but did the wrong thing.. all the while i was dreaming about the future.. didn't think of the times now.. nothing have been recovering me.. until i see the sky.. the bright sky that has been badly polluted still bright.. so just tell myself.. no matter how hurt am i deep deep inside.. i must always stand strong? talk to myself? that's weird.. cancel that.. months have been pass n still i'm not really okay with it.. but still.. i'll just think of it n just make it a wonderful fairy tale that i'v been through.. being hurt is not good.. hurting someone is not good.. the person that is already hurt n now hurting someone is worst that hurting the person by knowing that how is the feeling being hurt.. i wish that nothing will be dig up from the grave where i have bury some of the old memory.. some.. it maybe nice.. still remain it underground..
when i always cry cause i miss u.. cause i was thinking all the fun time we are having together n it was so so happy that make me cry.. wonder wat were u thinking when i'm crying cause i miss u.. time cannot be correct.. but mistake can be correct.. wat is to forgive should always be forgive.. nothing in this world can never bo never forgive.. sometimes things doesn't go well just like u plan.. when u make a promise.. keep it.. guardian angel is just a way to make u feel comfortable.. sometimes.. things maybe fragile like a lightbulb..
it's so SWEET.. so WONDERFUL.. so FANTASTIC.. so FUN.. so MYSTERIOUS..
i wan it all back.. back to my arms.. back to my heart.. back to the shore.. never make a promise when u dunno wat's gonna happen in the future.. when a promise can't be made.. the person will be more hurt than from all the things that u have done to hurt that person.. promise is a very strong word.. promise must be done after being told..

'Maybe will love u till the end of my life..' Old Gal words.

Emo-ing.. SHOO!

2009-06-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

Smile every moment that u have now.. always smile no matter ur heart is crush.. my heart it may be crush.. but i'm stil stnading strong.. i don't need u to help me.. or be beside me.. i just wan u to stay away from me.. u stay at the north pole thus i stay at the south pole.. thans.. leave me alone for 10!! 20!! years.. i'v not told anyone before.. so please do not ask me who's this.. i will never tell.. until the day i leave this place.. then a note wil be given to all.. i can never trust anyone or u.. i will never love anyone after the last break up.. i can never fall for anyone.. for sure.. there'r still hope in life.. hope for a new begginning.. no hope for ending.. no hope for dying.. no hope for falling down.. how much have i cried? how much tissues have i used up.. i wan to tell the one that i love.. to just give it.. give it to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but how strong n evil? izzit not to give.. i wan another sunny day.. the last n the only last.. i will just die for now.. n will rise up again someday.. raise my hand n stump it down.. nothing can never be the end for somebody.. only somebody can be the end for itself.. there's no more.. no more.. no more.. no more.. no more.. no more..

pee in ur pants..

2009-06-06T08:28:00.000-07:00

when u'r scare.. will u go to the toilet n get ready in case u pee? lols..

get a clear shot .. aim the target.. n SHOT!! there u get it..
i understand wat am i saying.. do u???? haha..
i wan to stop loving you~~
but my heart keep loving you..
my brain wan to stop thinking of u..
but my heart keep thinking of u..
am i having any prob??
or i'm the problem..
goshhh.. need to answer it wisely..

Rakanku yang'disayangi' tagged me.. wooT!!

2009-06-06T08:10:00.000-07:00

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kisses?
cheek..??

2. How did you feel when you woke up this MORNING?
confused..!!

3. Who was the last person/people you took a photo WITH?
my mother =]

4. Would you consider yourself SPOILED?
nope nope.. ahahh

5. Will you ever donate BLOOD?
YES!!!

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite SEX?
yeayea..

7. Do you want someone to be DEAD?
absolutely YEAH!!

8. What does your last text message SAY?
muackzxx

9. What are you thinking about right NOW?
bathing..

10. Do you want someone to be with you right NOW?
not really..

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
2.03am.. i think soo

12.Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
in a boutique??

13. Is someone on your mind right NOW?
yaaaaaa..

14. Who was the last person who text YOU?
Juliana..(she's a vampire!! sleep during the day n disturb me during the night!!)

TEN lucky people to do this quiz.
1)phang xi ying
2)wong huay theng
3)lum jou yee
4)loo shin teng
5)ting wen wen
6)ting chian chian
7)joey lum jo ee
8)peh fong xi
9)Nur Hidayah
10)syahirah

15.Who is no.2 having a relationship WITH?
secret!! i think so dun have would be the right answer..

16.Is no. 3 a male or FEMALE?
super woman..

17. If no.7 and no.1 get TOGETHER , would it be a good?
NOT good.. Terriblee

18. What is no.1 studying?
things that she suppose to study..

19. When was the last time you chatted with THEM?
few days ago..

20. IS no.4 SINGLE?
i got no idea..

21. Say something about no.2.
super hyper.. n prettY.. =))

22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being TOGETHER?
please la..

23. Describe no.9.
always bullied by me!! gonggg..

24 . What will you do if no.6 and no.7 FIGHT?
they don't even know each other..

25. Do you like no.8?
yeayea.. got sense of humour!!

Vanish

2009-04-30T03:44:00.000-07:00

i got no more trust in these things.. no more confident n dunno who to trust n who to listen.. beneath.. there's is always a lie.. i don't trust it n i don't wan to be serious in this things anymore.. even if it come serious to me.. mayb.. i will just say i dun give a damn? that's really bad n heart-less.. well.. maybe i dun have a heart anymore.. doing everything to make it perfect.. but at last.. everything just stay its normal position.. nothing is really perfect.. well.. god believers will say.. God is perfect.. boosH.. something that i have been wondering.. doing perfect make out of our ownself to know but others dunno.. perfect is to let other people see or let ownself see? weird question.. really hope that one day.. heart-less.. dawn.. fall.. every.. hour.. for.. this.. moment..

there's are more to say but very less to do.. a lot to see but less time to admire it.. after breaking that things.. it it really hard to get the pieces back together..

Barney song

2009-04-30T03:34:00.000-07:00

I love you, You love me.
Let's get together and kill barney.
with a shot gun 'bang' bang' barney on the floor.
NO more purple dinosaur.

Joanne's song.
version no.1 - i hate u, u love me.
Let's get together n kill CH
with a bazooka 'bomb'bomb CH on the floor.
No more CH for Jou Yee.
version no.2 - I love u, u love me.
let's get together n slap Taby
use our hand n slap him on the butt.
A new red butt for Jou Yee.

LOLX!! version no.2 jux created.. hope u like it.. hahhh....

neway.. i'm dead!!! byeee.. the 'thing' wouldn't go so i will go away myself.. smart way.. stupid choice..

LOVE it
LIVE it
LEARN it

WAHT?!

2009-04-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

As long as a person ask why.. they wannak now the reason.. but if the person that should ans dunno the reason.. then the answer that u said without a reason is not acceptable.. wat am i saying? =.=

GOT SUN BURN!! omG.. i look like a china doll!! seriously.. wonder lips can get burn or not?? coz my lips also so red..

no more praying to god.. no more thanks.. wat i request haven't being fulfil yet.. argh.. pls leave me alone.. go to rome~~ very nice view there.. i can't help u to do anything.. i'm not a wizard.. i'm just a normal ppl.. kabusHH....

Great

2009-04-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

TuuT~tuuT~~tuut~ TING!!!!!!!

UPDATED!!

my lao gong.. lol.. i updated my blog d.. Wahahaha..

so wat should i blog for today?? ermm.. i love my exam results? lol.. okays.. definately.. i love it.. but hate the teacher.. readers should know i hate which teacher.. geeheee... n.. urhhmm... don't be sad if u didn't get the kind of result that u expected n other's expectation.. u just need to know that wat u really gain is an experience from it.. eventhough the result that come out from it isn't good.. but the best thing of all.. is that u know u didn't give up n u put a lot of effort into it.. reward that gain from this thing is own hashikibababababababa.... i dunno wat am i saying definately.. i really need an english teacher to sit beside me n correct my grammar n spelling.. woosH.... aulKKK....

leave me alone n let me walk alone.. dun follow me cause i'm lost n in a mess.. quit every action to start a new beggining n from there.. dig up something from the ground..

Kill me..

2009-04-09T01:10:00.000-07:00

why do i have to update my blog huh??? if 'you' didn't ask me to update my blog i also wouldn't come n update.. bluahhh!!!

neways.... wat to write huh?? exam.. hmms... YAYA!!! my history 99.99% FAIL!!!! 98% of the question i fail to understand n find the answer. wootss.. teacher is gonna be so mad.. n mayb sad.. that's a good thing.. coz i hate her!! so much...... i hope that i can win someone in this exam.. woopss..

so next wat to say?? bout my fren?? or i can say as ex-fren? is there such word.. haha.. okaysss.. maby there is... coz friendship too can be break.. swT!!! this make me laugh like hell when i keep thinking the word 'break' anyways.. if a person can't tahan a person.. wat will the person do?? stand far away from that person or just stick with the person n just forget wat happened the next day?? well.. to me i'll do that.. coz i always fed-up in all ur acts.. that's wat always make me piss off n shout like a mad woman.. do u ever think that wat will ever coz me mad or u just still dun really understand the situation n the timing huh.. u are fed up with my fucking attitude n now just to not make it happen again u do like this.. For me.. i am fed up with ur fucking attitude too!! but did i do the same thing as u did?? well.. the most i just shout at u like a mad woman.. blaq blaq blaq... my anger can never be control when a person tell me to control it coz me myself too can't control n how the hell am i gonna control it if my myself can't control it???? pukimA..

do i really need to always tell u guys bout my problem if i tell the others?? do i really need to tell?? y do u guys wan to know n why do u guys keep wan to know bout my problem if i don't wan to tell.. i really dun understand that why do i need to tell my problem to u guys.. there are some problem that i will choose to tell to u guys n there are some that i choose to tell u guys.. is that WRONG?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! wat the heck r u guys thinking when i dun wan to tell u guys my problem??? u think that i have a problem that got to do with u?????????????????????????? i do not mean to talk bad things bout u.. i just wat to know wat is the age of ur mind???? seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tang tang tang tang tang

2009-03-10T07:26:00.000-07:00

When there's a problem n all of us are involve.. one of us will blame the other that is ur fault.. is ur fault.. is ur fault.. but do that person that blame others ever thing that this is their own fault too?? this is a problem that involve u too so u can't blame other that build up this thing.. ur fault is inside too.. even it it's not inside.. something that is related to the fault is inside too.. so please just thing all of this over again.. n think who to really blame n who not to blame.. who started this n who brough up this.. this is a really big problem for u n u think that to others is just a small problem?? think rasionally.. if u didn't get into this trouble means is not ur fault.. but u urself got into this trouble so a part of it is ur own fault.. i really hope that u will make a big change in ur mind n think all of it again.. this is really a hard time for u n i know that how r u going through this n how u feel right now.. it's really pain n it's really not wat u wan.. everything that u had in ur plan just collapse.. but still u have to be urself n be strong n face this.. u can built a new one anytime, it just see whether do u wan to start to build a new wan or not.. everything is not too late to change if u really realise what's wrong.. nothing is too late for u to do.. everything to u maybe late n if u keep thinking like that.. it will be more late than u thought..

something that doesn't belong to u will sooner or later fly away from u.. no matter how tight u grab it.. the thing will still have a way to let itself out..

life have a beginning n an ending.. even if u force it not to begin or end.. it is not up to u to do it.. something that unpredictable will always suddenly appear infront of u n suddenly dissapear infront of u.. but remember.. eventhought the person is not there.. but the feeling that the person have towards u n the feeling that u have toward the person is always there.. no matter how far the person is away from u.. the feeling is always right beside u.. is not easy to tell that something will show up n something will lost.. unless u'r supernatural.. wooTs~~

don't do the little bad thing but do a little good things.. little bad things bring no good n a little good thing brings a lot of good!!!!

CHILL n REST UR MIND..

aum~~aum~~aum~~aum~~aum~~aum~~aum~~aum~~aum~~aum~~ HAH!!!

Just end it

2009-02-23T02:54:00.000-08:00

i really wan to end this test for my mind to be in peace.. every tears of mine isn't the answer for this test.. pls!! i wan to end this test.. stop making me think stop making me breath in n out of it.. it juz can't continue anymore.. mayb it is juz the stupid me that keep failing this test n keep going on n on again.. now i'v know that i'm the only one taking a test n the rest r juz playing around.. i really do think sometimes that why am i in here.. never regret to b in here b4.. coz it really gave me loads of lesson.. all the things that i wan to do for now is juz have peace in my mind.. end this test n give it to other.. end everything n juz give me a new life.. i will end it the way i wan one day if this test haven't end.. i'll end it horriblely n leave no mercy for my safety n the ones who love me beside me.. i understand everyone much more.. it's juz a lie n a play in life.. it's juz acts n nothing else.. is this the feeling when i found out smtg that i'm not suppose to b involve.. is this the situation that i should be in around this age?????????????? i'll say goodbye to everyone if i got no chance to say goodbye when i wanna say goodbye.. this goodbye i say it when i end all this thing..ven if it's not right for me.. but it's at least the best for me!!! everything in real life are juz like fairy tales.. even if there are no happy ending.. there will at least be some moment that u'r happy to end with.. some say in real life there's no happy ending.. that's not true.. for me, my happy ending will be pour with the ones who love me.. i'll be burried with their love to me.. is the most stupid way.. nothing can change my mind.. only me myself can chage it.. this is wat i really wan to do for now.. it is not worth it but for me is worth it.. it'll be very harmful n i'll finally have peace in my mind.. forever.... this is a very stupid action that i can think of.. but i'll do a smart choice on how to handle it till it all ends.. only a few days passed by.. but in these few days.. a lot of things i've taken it in..other people can do this.. n i know that i can do this.. but i choose not to do this.. i choose to do that.. it'll be a sin.. the sin will flow in my blood forever..

Boring..

2009-02-21T05:34:00.000-08:00

ZZzzZz..... i'm wondering that whether u all understand wat am i saying in my blog.. mayb u all understand or mayb u all don't understand.. me myself don't really know wat am i saying.. but at least i understand myself.. it's really hard to let down the relation actually.. even if i let it down d i'll still b thinking bout it.. thinking the times when we're together.. sweet memories.. well.. not all the memories are sweet.. some are kinda mysterious n weird.. now i know that when i'm in the relation.. i only though of that person.. only that person is in my mind.. no more other ppl.. very seldom thought of others.. $$$$_____++ when it juz end n my thought is full of.. wat should i do.. wat can i do.. wat i really done.. wat had juz happen.. i really can't firgure out wat's happening with me.. wat's this n that.. how come i'm like this now.. i feel that i'm very weak n there's no more strength inside me.. the stronger side of me disappear.. n the cheerful.. crazy side of me vanish.. when can i gain it back.. should i go get it back or wait for it to come back.. it's really hard for me to live in this situation.. i'm actually torturing myself where everyone think that.. the thing is torturing me.. wat can i do to tell myself to b happy infront of u gus always?? is not hard but i can't.. laugh when there's a joke?? all the jokes to me is like a poem.. i don't know wat's the joke about n i can't laugh.. sorry that i'm not hanging out with u guys much.. i don't know why isn't fun hanging out with u guys anymore.. i dunno why i feel different when hanging out with u guys.. is really very different.. maybe coz of my mood huh.. thought that i can handle it.. but i can't handle it.. is juz isn't me..which planet am i stuck in now? my goodness.. i need first aid!!

Complicate

2009-02-21T04:13:00.000-08:00

Searching high n low.. but nothing is there for me to search.. or mayb i'm not even searching properly n mayb is juz my heart doesn't follow me n i didn't follow my heart.. everytime when there's the picture that is always printing in my mind.. the more things that are coming to me.. making me suffering, making me like a zombie.. i don't know wat to tell my friends wat's going with me coz i don't know wat's going on with me.. it mayb cause by smtg.. but i think that is cause by myself that i became like this.. like wat my friends had never imagine.. i wan to go outter space, see the earth from outter space.. float around outter space.. see the explotion happening in the sun.. see the earth from outter space.. it's impossible.. saying is easy but doing is hard.. wan to follow where my heart go but i dun know where's my heart.. i'm heartless now.. omg.... no wonder i'm like a zombie.. looking for a new start ain't easy.. but getting into a new start is easy.. ending smtg is easy.. but leaving smtg is hard.. everytime when there are troublem.. we will think how to solve it with the right way.. but when it's solve.. u'll feel happy n mayb sad.. everything on earth are alive.. every living things have a wonderful life.. juz see how do u handle ur own life.. it'll b hard to handle when u don't know wat u wan for ur life..

can there be an easy life.. can there be a guide to life always.. can tre be a lesson for life.. can there be a choice for me to choose.. can the thing follow my way.. finding searching looking copying cutting.....

Creepy

2009-02-20T05:48:00.000-08:00

wat's the thing that u'r afraid the most???? afraid of this.. afraid of that.. but truly deep down inside.. wat r u afraid of?? something that will really make u freak out.. something that i really afraid of coming true has juz come n now it's still hauting me.. as if that is gonna stick with me forever.. for this life time.. hope that it'll still for now.. wonder when wil the feeling go off from me.. i do everything to make this feeling go off me but everything that i did doesn't work.. are the things worthy to do to loss these feeling or juz let the feeling follow u but not think of it ever n juz b happy on the outside but keep the truth of everything inside.. it will b nice to tell it out.. but i choose not to really tell it out.. coz i dun even wanna talk it out.. nothing will happen even if i talk it out.. only will feel better.. but the feeling is still inside there.. different ppl different thoughts.. nobody got the same thought unless u two r the same person.. i'm actually still afraid of smtg that i dunno.. smtg that kep haunting me.. in my life n even in my dream!!!

pity

2009-02-20T03:56:00.000-08:00

first thing when u see other kids who got no parents or handicap or retarted wat will u feel?? everyone will feel 1 some thing.. but think different things.. when somebody is in a problem.. they'll think that ending their life is the best to end the problem.. end every damn thing that is bothering u.. is this the right way?? it may b the best way to solve it but is not the right way.. have u even think that others are having problem too but juz different that u that's all.. i'm not comparing the problems that u'r having n others having.. juz asking u to think rasional..

falling down hurts.. the wound will b there but after a while it will juz slowy disappear.. n the pain will slowl fade away.. but when come to letting down somehing hat u really can't.. i really hurts too.. there wouldn't b any wound.. but there will b a sickness.. that cannot b cure.. can't even b relief from the pain.. it will haunt u 4ever.. even if u 4get bout the things.. it thing will make a u-turn n come back to u.. difference of a wound n an uncureble sickness.. really i very far.. from another end of the building can't the other end of the building.. really hate myself for dunno wat am i doing.. hate myself for making my frens think of me like that.. hate mself for everthing that happen.. but i still love myself more than i hate myself for all the things that i'v gone through.. things that i'v experience.. everything that teach me something..

Duhh..

2009-02-18T02:52:00.000-08:00

feeling sad is a coment thing.. feeling happy is very coment.. feeling hurt isn't a normal thing.. sorry for the broken english.. pppp..... is hard to feel it.. but when u know that u'r feeling it.. u'll b sick.. u'll b uncontrolable.. u'll b another person.. no more attitude, no more thoughts, no more dream, no more.. juz nothing left in ur heart except the feeling of that.. u may blame the person that cause u have that feeling.. but u should ask urself too.. r u apart of causing this too?? some r brainny some r brainless.. some r heartless.. some r not serious.. u'll juz need to know wat kind of situation r u in.. wat do u really feel n wat u really wan to do.. something mayb serious than how u think it is.. but others wouldn't think like how u think it is.. everyone are different.. nobody r same in this world.. u may tell others how do u feel to feel better.. but will it gone after telling.. shout it out loud n strike urself with a chair.. get memory loss.. or some other thing will do.. will u still 4get the feeling.. when will the feeling go away from u.. can the feeling really go away when u forget bout everything?? or the feeling always haunt u??